Building Brilliant Minds, One Skill at a Time
Parenting a child — especially one with unique learning needs or autism — is a daily invitation to slow down, observe, and teach intentionally. One of the most impactful areas we can nurture is Executive Function (EF) — the brain’s management system that helps children plan, focus, remember, regulate emotions, and follow through.
The truth is, these skills don’t just “happen.”
They’re taught, modeled, and built over time — through small, consistent moments of patience and structure.
What Is Executive Function?
Executive Function refers to the set of mental skills that help us think, plan, organize, and manage our actions. It’s what allows your child to:
- Remember multi-step instructions
- Stay calm when plans change
- Start tasks independently
- Think flexibly and solve problems
- Stay focused even when distracted
For children on the autism spectrum or with ADHD, executive function skills may develop more slowly — but with the right support, they can grow beautifully.
🧩 7 Core Executive Function Skills Every Child Can Learn
1️⃣ Working Memory – Remembering and Using Information
This is your child’s ability to hold and use short-term information — like remembering what you just said or following a three-step instruction.
How to teach it:
- Give one direction at a time.
- Use visual reminders (checklists, picture charts).
- Play memory games like “Simon Says” or “I Spy.”
- Turn chores into recall fun: “Can you remember the three things we need from upstairs?”
✨ Example: When Demi forgets a step, I ask, “What’s the next thing we do?” instead of giving the answer. That gentle pause teaches him to think and recall.
2️⃣ Emotional Control – Managing Feelings When Things Go Wrong
Emotional control doesn’t mean not feeling — it means learning how to recover when emotions get big.
How to teach it:
- Model calm — children mirror what they see.
- Name the feeling: “You’re upset because you wanted to draw first.”
- Use breathing exercises or calm corners to help them self-regulate.
- Praise recovery: “You took a deep breath and tried again — I’m proud of you.”
✨ Example: When Demi misplaced his communication agenda, he cried at school — but the next day calmly said, “I left it in class.” That’s growth. Emotional regulation is progress, not perfection.
3️⃣ Task Initiation – Getting Started Without Delay
Many kids struggle to start tasks — not because they’re lazy, but because starting feels hard.
How to teach it:
- Use timers or “First–Then” boards (“First reading, then playtime”).
- Break tasks into tiny, doable chunks.
- Start the first step together, then step back.
- Celebrate beginnings, not just endings.
✨ Example: For math, I help Demi with the first question. Once he’s in motion, he keeps going independently. That’s how task initiation is built — one start at a time.
4️⃣ Planning & Organization – Creating Structure and Order
Planning helps children know what to do and how to prepare for it.
How to teach it:
- Use daily visual schedules (morning, after school, bedtime).
- Create designated spaces for items (folders, bins, baskets).
- Involve your child in planning: “What do we need for tomorrow?”
- Reward small wins: “You packed your own bag — great job!”
✨ Example: Our morning checklist is our lifesaver. Demi checks off each task, and it builds pride and independence.
5️⃣ Cognitive Flexibility – Adapting When Plans Change
Change can be tough for our kids — especially when they expect things to go a certain way.
How to teach it:
- Play “What If?” games (“What if it rains? What else could we do?”).
- Introduce small changes in routine gently.
- Model calm when things shift.
- Use visuals to show alternate plans (“Plan A / Plan B”).
✨ Example: When we used to switch from art to math, Demi would get upset. Now we use “change cards” that help him prepare mentally. Little by little, he’s learning flexibility. 🌈
6️⃣ Self-Monitoring – Checking and Reflecting
Self-monitoring is your child’s ability to recognize mistakes or successes and adjust independently.
How to teach it:
- Ask reflective questions: “How do you think you did?”
- Encourage self-correction: “Can you check that again?”
- Praise awareness: “You noticed that all by yourself!”
✨ Example: Demi used to rush through work. Now, he pauses to review before saying “I’m done.” That’s growth in self-awareness.
7️⃣ Impulse Control – Thinking Before Acting
Impulse control helps children stop, think, and then respond.
How to teach it:
- Play waiting games like “Red Light, Green Light” or “Freeze Dance.”
- Praise waiting: “You waited for your turn — amazing!”
- Use countdowns before transitions.
- Model patience yourself.
✨Example: Demi used to interrupt when excited. Now, we hold hands and take deep breaths together — teaching his body to pause before reacting. 🕊️
🏃♀️ Activities That Strengthen All EF Skills
- Cross-body exercises (Brain Gym, dancing, ball toss)
- Sorting tasks (like Demi’s focus activity!)
- Mindful breathing before academic work
- Daily routines with visual cues and timers
- Play-based learning — because fun keeps the brain engaged
These activities are not only great for focus but also transfer into academics, life skills, and relationships.
Remember: Progress, Not Perfection
Executive Function skills take time — sometimes years — to mature.
Don’t rush the process. Celebrate the small steps.
Every time you model calm, build a routine, or celebrate effort, you’re rewiring your child’s brain toward growth, independence, and confidence.
“He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion.” – Philippians 1:6
You’re doing holy work, mama and papa. Keep showing up, even on the tired days — it all adds up.
🎥 Want to See These Skills in Action?
Watch how I teach my son Demi these skills step-by-step on our YouTube channel:
👉🏽 @COAAMF on YouTube
Let’s keep building brilliant minds, together.